Dwayne ‘The Guac’ Johnson

This GUAC-tail is inspired by my time in the kitchen at Chipotle. It was my first kitchen job and I learned a lot about food and cooking during my service as grill man.

One of the prep jobs I took a lot of pride in was making the guacamole. As you many of you will know, the guacamole at Chipotle costs extra and man if it didn’t make that stuff taste all that much better.

Now my preference for guacamole is for it to be mostly smooth with just enough chunkage to have a satisfying bite of pure avocado goodness, but not sooo chunk that it made eating it out of those little plastic ramekins impossible without inevitable chip breakage.

Anywayyyyy, I decided to celebrate my time perfecting the art of guacamole for the summer menu at Bar Arbolada circa 2019.

Enter DWAYNE ‘THE GUAC’ JOHNSON 🥑

A avocado margarita build that pulls flavors from the universally loved Mexican appetizer.

There are an almost unfortunate amount of components for this cocktail as it was developed for a bar menu and not necessarily for the home enthusiast but hey, I’m an open book!

Let’s dig into the prep, shall we?

AVOCADO TEQUILA:

For our base spirit we’ll be using an avocado blanco tequila. I prefer Cimarron Blanco or Arette Blanco but use what you like.

For the avocado tequila you’ll blend 2 ripe avocados per 1 liter of tequila.

Note that the avocado will oxidize quickly so it’s best to prep this just before serving but if you need to add 1/16 teaspoon ascorbic acid before blending to aid it preventing browning.

ACIDIFIED TOMATO WATER:

Cut and freeze ripe tomatoes (you can skip the freezing step but it helps get a higher yield), blend tomatoes and strain them with a mesh strainer lined with cheesecloth.

The result should be a clear, pale, yellow-red tomato water.

Once you’ve allowed all the water to drain (this can take a few hours), weigh the yield and add 3% by weight malic acid and 3% by weight citric acid.

Stir to incorporate and refrigerate until ready for use.

CILANTRO SYRUP:

Blend one handful of cilantro stems (save leaves for cooking/garnish) with 1 cup 1:1 simple syrup, strain and store in the fridge.

Alternatively you can muddle fresh cilantro in the shaker tin and use regular simple syrup on a per drink basis.

JALAPEÑO TINCTURE:

Add 1/2 chopped up Jalapeño to 250 milliliters of Everclear, allow to infuse up to 3 days, fine strain.

Note: you can use Serrano pepper if you like it a bit spicier but the vegetal notes of jalapeño remind me of the Chipotle Guacamole more.

RED ONION SALT:

Dehydrate red onion scraps in a food dehydrator or air fryer for about 1 hour at 180F.

Blend dried red onion in a spice grinder or powder in a mortar and pestle.

Add to kosher sea salt in a 1:4 ratio of red onion powder to salt.

Note: this stuff is great on steaks or grilled meats and veggies.

TORTILLA CHIP GARNISH:

Thinly slice store bought corn tortillas into strips and air fry on high with a bit of Pam or veggie oil until golden brown and crispy. Finish with a bit of salt.

PHEW, that is a lot of prep but hey, I guess we were overachievers back then… or just craft cocktail masochists.